I WANT A KAUR!

After 2.5 years of fuddy-duddying, the government of the great State of Washington at last decided that, as someone 100% disabled, I need not only decent medical care, but also a personal caregiver, called a "medical caregiver," although her duties are all nonmedical. She is, in fact, a sort of cross between a housekeeper and a personal maid. So I am now, sort of, living like a lady of leisure.

I was able to designate any qualified person - except a family member - as my caregiver, with certain restrictions. The most restrictive was that the person had to agree to an exhaustive background check. Would you consent to that? I know I would not! Of course, I wanted a Kaur, but couldn't find a single one both willing and able. So I had to let the agency just send me one.

Because of anti discrimination laws, I could not ask for a person of a particular ethnic background (I don't care about that anyway) or a particular religion (I wanted a Sikh). I was able to specify gender, as the caregiver's job includes personal care of my physical body.

So it was pot luck. They sent me Irene. In most ways, she is great. She is here every day and works hard. She is pleasant and loves my silky hair. OK, she's never here on time and I usually send her home to her kids early, as long as everything is done. I think if I insisted, both of those would be corrected.

But everything in this life has a price. Not only is Irene not a Sikh, she's a Christian, a born-again Christian, filled with the holy spirit and a zeal to share her beliefs with the whole world, actually to convert any nonChristian who crosses her path. It is an integral part of her religion to proselytise anyone and everyone. It is also an integral part of her personality. Every time she opens her mouth to speak, she says something about being filled with the holy spirit and how that makes her sooooooo joyous. In all honesty, she really is joyous and I wouldn't take that away from her. Luckily for her, my religion respects her beliefs, even if her religion doesn't respect mine. Of course, I could ask for another caregiver, but she does her job and is extremely honest. Besides, I like her. I must hasten to add that she is not a "Church Lady," I see no hypocrisy in her.

My Dad, saying we live in a Christian country (Canada, not the USA, and Quebec, at that!) insisted that I study and know the Christian Bible, even after I managed to get myself permanently thrown out of the Catholic Church. (My mother was Catholic and managed to pry a promise from Dad to raise me Catholic. Obviously, that didn't work, but it makes an interesting post. See The Day I Became A Sikh.). The result is that I know the Bible better than most Christians. This includes Irene.

I puzzle her. How can anyone know the Bible as well as I do - and not see that it is obviously the first and last words of absolute truth? How can anyone not believe what is so obviously - to her - the word of God for all people? She has asked me point blank why I don't believe in it. I, wanting to show the utmost respect for her and her beliefs and wanting to show her that Sikhs really don't feel the need to prosletyse, would say only that it doesn't make sense to me. When she pressed me, I told her, truthfully, that my religion precludes me from showing disrespect for her beliefs, and there is no way I could explain without trashing Christianity. She accepted that, I suspect because she really doesn't care why I don't accept her faith.

Once, I asked her, "Do you really want everybody in the world to believe exactly what you believe?"

"Oh, yes, that would be wonderful!" Then, after a pause, "Wouldn't you like to live in a world where everyone was a Sikh?"

Truthfully, I'd love to give that a try, but I answered, "I like you. I'm glad you're part of this world. And you have a religion that brings you great joy, that is the very centre of your being. What kind of person would I be, if I wanted to take that away from you?"

She understood only the surface meaning of that, not realising the hidden message that that was exactly what she was trying to do to me, to take from me the centre of my being, the source of my joy and strength, the source of my chardi kala, among other things.

My approach to violence also baffles her. "You mean you actually killed someone? I could never kill anyone for any reason."

"Not even to protect your children from being murdered?"

After several minutes of thought, "God would not put me in that position."

Maybe not. I don't know.

Or how about this one. "What are you going to say to God when you stand before him to be judged and he asks you why you rejected the gift of his son?"

Not gonna happen, Irene. The truth is, if I were ever to stand before God, how could I face my beloved as a liar and a hypocrite, pretending to belief a lot of - to me - nonsense. I didn't say that, though. Instead, I simply said, "I suppose if it came to that, I would have to tell him (the Christian view of God is definitely masculine) that I used the intelligence he gave me and just couldn't make any sense of that."

She just gasped.

One last comment on this. I told her the Sikh attitude of "If you are a Muslim, be a good Muslim. If you are a Hindu, be a good Hindu," and I extended it a bit, "and if you are a Christian, be a good Christian." She couldn't get her mind around that at all. "But what I believe is TRUE!" At least she had to courtesy and good sense not to add "and what you believe is false."

I admire the depth of her belief and her love of God. If she were a Sikh, her presence would make me happy to the depths of my being. But she isn't.

Back to 1950. Way back before even I was born:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGkRBprxJvk